


Keeping My Promise

by WeissQueen



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alive Marco Bott, Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Mild Blood, Plot, Recovery, Survival, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeissQueen/pseuds/WeissQueen
Summary: Sweat was pouring down his face, hands shaking around the broken blade in his hand. He only had one shot to get this right or he was dead. He had to stay calm but keeping calm was easier said than done as he was lifted closer or the Titan’s drooling maw, fear coiled serpentine through him and tears fell silently.You have to survive! You have to do this!For Jean....Marco gets one chance to fight back and live to tell the tale.Where Marco survives the battle for Trost.Part 1 is Marcos POV and Part 2 Is Jean coming to terms with what happened and his changing feelings for his best friend.
Relationships: Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 12
Kudos: 107





	1. Marco

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time trying my hand at JeanMarco! This is for one of my best friends who sold her soul to this ship, I love very much and wanted to write something for her! <3 
> 
> This fic is for practice writing the characters before I start the real multichap i have planned for her!
> 
> I love Marco so much, he deserved the world so writing this has been therapeutic! Theres going to be two parts, One chapter from Marco's POV and one from Jean's.
> 
> I hope you enjoy me dipping my toes into writing for this ship :)

It’s easy to look back upon your mistakes and see the exact moment you made them, identify what you could have done differently, what you **should** have done differently.

  
For Marco, he should have never have landed on that rooftop to check on Reiner and Berthold. He should have simply continued onwards with the mission without his worry for his comrades coming to the forefront of his compassion. When he landed on that rooftop and heard what they said, he **definitely** should not have alerted them to his presence.

  
He doesn’t know what he was thinking, now upon having time to reflect. Maybe he was just so naive to hope deep down that they weren’t telling the truth, that it was all some kind of big joke that he wasn’t party to.

But Reiner was right after all, he was too smart to buy the excuses he had practically forced them to say. As soon as the pieces of the puzzle clicked in his mind Reiner was upon him, throwing him down and restraining him.

“Take off his gear” Reiner commanded to Annie who looked at him in disbelief and the gravity of the situation finally hit Marco like a ton of bricks.

  
To keep his silence

They needed him dead.

  
“Stop! Please you don’t have to do this! We can talk this out!” He pleaded, tongue finally freed as panic coursed through him “Please Stop!”

His captors were silent, watching as Annie knelt in front go him, hands going to his thigh straps.

“What are you doing? Why won’t you talk to me?” Marco cried, pleading with Annie as she fumbled with the straps of his ODM gear “Please Annie! Stop!”

“You have to do this Annie” Reiner’s voice brokered no arguments and Marco twisted sharply in his grasp, trying to look at himself, look him in the eyes as he sentenced him to death. Perhaps if Reiner saw him.. he would let him go.

“Please!! You don’t have to do this! Please!” Tears streamed down his cheeks as the pure unadulterated panic coursed through his veins “Why? We’re supposed to be friends why are you doing this? Why Annie?! Please stop!”

She stopped, just a moment. Heartache and hesitation clearly etched onto her face as she locked eyes with him, hands stilling as her blue eyes filled with tears.

_She didn’t want to hurt him!_

“You don’t have to do this I promise! I’m your friend Annie, I want to help you!”

Reiner’s arms constricted tighter to silence him, crushing his chest and making him gasp for air.

“Please! _Please_!”

“Annie, remember who you are, you’re a warrior!” Berthold’s words seemed to bring her back into focus and her hands once more resumed undoing his gear.

_No! Without his gear he was as good as dead out here. They weren’t going to kill him them themselves, they were going to leave him to be eaten!_

He had to get through to her, he had to get them to stop! They were friends, they had lived together for the past 3 years! There had to be some kind of loyalty and friendship still there he just had to bring it out of them!

“We can talk about this! You can talk to me you know that right? Just talk to me!”

“Why won’t you fight?” Annie’s voice wavered as she looked up to meet his gaze finally, tears finally pooling over the edge of her eyelids “Why won’t you fight back?”

_Huh? Did she want him to fight her?_

“Because we’re friends! I don’t want to fight you! I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you...” his voice wavered but he was speaking from the heart. It had never even crossed his mind to try and fight his captors.

Berthold looked frantic now, looking back and for between he and Annie but Marco concentrated his gaze upon her. She was whom he needed to convince, she was the one who might let him live. She was a good person he _knew_ it.

“Any animal will fight for its life when cornered, it’s our instinctive to survive.. but you don’t. You really... don’t want to fight me... you believe in me”

“Of course I do!” Marco cried, now it made sense. If he fought back, then she would find it easier. He would be a foe to overpower and not a friend begging for his life.

“Annie! Do it!” Reiner commanded but even his booming demands fell on deaf ears, her hands left his thigh straps and she slumped. Tears pouring down her face as she sobbed audibly.

“I.. I can’t”

“Annie...” Relief started to flood Marco’s system for only a brief moment. Before Berthold strode over and took her place

“Fine! I’ll do it! You need to remember why we’re here Annie!”

“No **please**!!”

“Stop!” Annie croaked feebly as she tried to push Berthold’s hands away but she was in pieces and he had the fire in his eyes of a man who couldn’t turn back.

“Berthold? Please don’t do this”

“I’m sorry Marco” he pulled the harness from his shoulders, his gear now clean ripped from him “But we don’t have a choice now you know the truth”

He wasn’t going to back down, Marco realised as his last hopes flickered and died. Berthold was going to make sure Marco died on this rooftop.

“Please! Annie? Please!”

Reiner finally let go of his arms and unbalanced now he fell forward onto the tiles.

“We’re sorry Marco”

And just like that they left, flying away from him, his gear tucked under a sobbing Annie’s arm as they retreated far away and left him there alone. He could see them watching from a rooftop, waiting to make sure he perished.

_Fuck!_

He was stupid to think that he could talk them into letting him go! Jean had been right about him, his words reverberating in his mind from the day Jean had sighed heavily and sat down next to him

_“What’s wrong?”_

_“Look Marco, don’t take this the wrong way but... I worry about you”_

_“What? Why?”_

_“Because your problem is that you think everyone is as good and reasonable a person as you are”_

_“Well sometimes they are?”_

_“Marco... your attitude is commendable but..”_

_“But what Jean?” He had said softly looking at the conflicted face of his best friend_

_“One day it could get you killed”_

Now it finally had, his innate trust in other people had really been his downfall. He should have fought, like Annie said.. what kind of person doesn’t fight for their life?

**BANG**

**BANG**

**BANG**

Those were footsteps, unmistakable. A Titan was coming and Marco scrambled in fear, pulling himself across the rooftop desperately. He felt naked without his gear, what chance did he have to fight or escape with no gear? Without even a weapon to try and fight with he was helpless. Frantically he climbed, sliding down the next roof in a desperate attempt to get to the ground, heart hammering against his rib cage as fear spiked and stabbed at his insides.

_Just keep going Marco keep going!_

**BANG**

**BANG**

**BANG**

The footsteps were getting louder, it was clearly running now but he daren’t look back. He had to keep moving! Tiles crunched under foot as he ran across the rooftop, almost trying to outrun the Titan fast approaching. If he could just find another soldier who could help him. Even if he found a dead soldier... he felt horrible even thinking that but if he could get his hands on some gear his chances for survival jumped high.

A gleam caught his eye and he dived onto the next room snatching up a sword that had clearly fallen during the fight, the top blades had snapped off but it was better than nothing. Scrambling he clenched it into his hand, the weight feeling comforting as he ran.

_Look for a soldier.. someone please be passing by..._

**_Bang_ **

**_Bang_ **

**_Bang_ **

The footsteps were right behind him now and against his better judgement he turned to get a grasp on how far the Titan was from him.

He screamed out as huge eyes were mere inches from him, the Titans hand shooting out and before he even had time to react it had him snatched up into his fist.

“No!!” He screamed flailing desperately but there was no chance of escape, the grip was too tight. His hands were shaking, sword rattling in his fist as the Titan’s mouth opened in front of him like a gateway to hell. The drooling mass of teeth and wet slobber would be his grave and it was all he could do not to cry.

_Focus Marco! You have to_ **_do something_ ** _, you have the sword!_ **_Think_ ** _! You need to think now!_

The fear was so paralysing, he couldn’t even breathe. It was coming closer.. closer..

_Your only chance is to aim for its eye, that’s the_ **_only_ ** _way it might ever drop you. You can’t sever its hand so the eye is your one shot. You can’t blow this!_

Right as it was about to bite down he had to strike, not a moment sooner or later. His body trembled and shook, tears streaming down his face as death inched closer and closer.

_Not yet! You need to be closer. Don’t fuck this up!_

Closer... closer... the warmth of its breath made him shudder, the wetness of it’s mouth starting to bear down.

_You can do this Marco! Just hold on!_

He sobbed, steadying his shaking hand as he brought the sword up, poised and ready.

“Steady... hold..” Marco repeated to himself like a mantra “Not yet.. not yet”

Sweat was pouring down his face, hands shaking around the broken blade in his hand. He only had one shot to get this right or he was dead. He had to stay calm but keeping calm was easier said than done as he was lifted closer or the Titan’s drooling maw, fear coiled serpentine through him and tears fell silently.

_You have to survive! You have to do this!_ **_For Jean_ **

Not yet.. breathe.. you have one shot...

**Not yet**

**Not yet**

**Not yet**

The Titan’s mouth was bearing down on him, teeth drawing closer and closer and just as he felt them touch his skin..

“NOW”

Marco’s arm swung up in an arc, broken sword brandished as he yelled his battle cry.

_This was it, one chance to stay alive_

The sword blade plunged deep into the Titan’s eye and it let out a curdling scream in time with Marco’s own as the realisation dawned on him at the same time as the pain.

_He had messed up_

His timing had been mere seconds off. The Titans mouth had already began to clamp down, teeth tearing into his flesh before it suddenly let go in pain, unfurling it’s meaty fist and then Marco was falling, screaming as ground rushed up to meet him.

_No! I was so close!_

**_Crash!_ **

Plummeting down his body crashed through a wooden roof, the wind knocked out of him as he broke through the planks before slamming down onto the hard stone floor wheezing and coughing in agony.

He couldn’t _breathe_. Everything was agonising as he spluttered and cried. Blood, tears and saliva pooling as he lay broken on the ground.

_He had failed_

The Titans teeth had cut him, he could feel the blood pouring down from his forehead. Lacerations down his side that were bleeding heavily, he could see his life flowing away from him even as he lay there. A few seconds earlier and maybe he would have made it.. if the Titans grip and the fall hadn’t broken his ribs, maybe if he had never trusted Reiner, Berthold and Annie. But it was too late for any of that now, like Jean had told him... his naïveté had finally gotten him killed.

But still, if he was going to die at least he was peaceful here. It was quiet now, no Titan footsteps, no fighting. Maybe the Titan had lumbered away while it’s eye regenerated? Either way he was grateful, he would be able to let go now quietly. His eyes lulled closed, breath in a shaky exhale. It was alright, despite the agonising pain he felt strangely at peace now.

_I’m going to die now, but that’s alright. At the end of my life, I can honestly say... I have everything that I ever wanted. I joined the military and made top 10, I would have gotten into the MP’s. I was honest and true to myself and my dreams, I made friends who I love like family, I even had a best friend who meant everything to me. I lead a squadron to protect humanity and slayed Titans... and after everything that happened on the roof i still get to die on my_ **_own_ ** _terms, in service to the king. Nothing can take that away from me_

He smiled, despite it all. He could have done a lot worse, a least he had lived a life he could be proud of.

His wounds throbbed, his blood pooling on the floor under him. It wouldn’t take long now surely, and Marco had never been a selfish person but if he could ask one last thing for himself...Please.. just let him die here quickly. To take away the pain soon before a Titan found him, before it took away the last thing he could do for himself.

It would come over him soon, the black spots in his vision would take over and he would split away.

Any moment now.

....

_However..._

_However..._

Despite his wounds, his pain, the blood and the broken ribs he knew he surely had. Darkness wasn’t coming for him the way he had seen it when he was milliseconds from the Titans jaws.

Really? Life was going to cheat him of this too? Would he lay here broken and battered until a Titan sniffed him out? How cruel.

If he died here on this floor then they would know what happened to him. His squad would know he was dead, they would see his face and know his death _meant_ something. He would be remembered for what really happened, his life never just a pondering question.

_“Remember Marco Bodt? We never did find out what happened to him at the battle for Trost, maybe he got eaten?”_

Jean would see him and know he didn’t mean to break his promise. The life they were supposed to have in the MP’s together was brutally ripped from him on the eve of their destiny.. Jean would see his dead body and know that he was gone, the dream was over.

He had _failed_ him. This was his true fate, the truth of his existence.

_The truth..._

_Jean..._

_The truth?_

_...._

Was he going to die? Without telling them the truth? Without them knowing who their true enemies were? Leaving Jean in a world where he didn’t know he was so close to danger?

But it hurt so badly, he was broken beyond repair, no gear, no chance of escape. There was a high chance that Annie, Reiner or Bethold would find him and put him out of his misery before he had the chance to tell their secrets.. Maybe Annie would spare him but there was no way the other two would. Plus there was no way they weren’t looking for him after seeing him escape the Titans grasp. They would silence him to keep their secrets, if he wanted to get justice, he had to **fight.**

And just like that Eren’s time old words, repeated like a mantra until the whole squad knew his personal philosophy. They came to him, calling him to action, willing him to stand.

_“If you win, you live. If you lose, you die. If you don't fight, you can't win!”_

Marco’s eyes flew open, he had to do this! _He had no other choice if he wanted to protect Jean_.

Letting out a howl of agony as his body screamed at him to stop, he dragged himself slowly into a sitting position. Breaths came in ragged gasps as he fumbled with his bloody jacket trying to pull it off to look at the damage to his right side. His head hurt so fucking much, he could feel the blood down his cheek from the Titans tooth, remember the moment it bit into him and if he had been even a nanosecond later with his attack it would have torn his skull apart.

He had fought to **live** up on the roof. He had to fight to **survive** now.

He could try and stop some of the bleeding with a makeshift pressure bandage but all he had were the clothes on his back. Whimpering through gritted teeth he fumbled with the sleeve of his jacket over his damaged arm, after a few moments of pained wiggling he managed to pull the jacket off and finally locked eyes on the welts down his side through his shredded shirt. Gashes from the Titans teeth had cut down his shoulder, his arm and down his side, not to mention the cut on his head and he had no doubt his back bore matching marks from the Titans bottom teeth.

They were painful and bloody but through his shaky breaths and unfocused eyes he could tell they weren’t fatally deep. No organs would be damaged, but he had to stop the bleeding if he didn’t want to die of blood loss.

God Damn he didn’t have the strength for this, but he passed his jacket lengthways around his side and pulled it tight, howling at the pressure. Just to tie... come on Marco you can do this... you have to fight...

Passing the arm sleeves quickly round in a knot he took a deep breath, bracing himself as best he could before yanking them tight pulling the knot as far as it would go. He screamed as the makeshift bandage constricted tightly around his torso, stemming the bleeding although the fabric over his wounds hurt like hell.

When his vision cleared and spots no longer danced in his vision he braced himself for his next task.. getting to his feet. He didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to do with no gear, and there was a high chance the trio would find him and cut him down before he had a hope in hells chance of finding someone to help him but...

If you don’t fight...

Luckily the jacket bandage seemed to have stopped the bleeding for the most part and he crossed his damaged right arm up across his chest, fingers clamping loosely on his left shoulder.. as long as he kept his arm elevated above his heart.. he shouldn’t bleed out. There was nothing he could do for his head wound he had to just fight on and hope for the best.

Slowly, careful, with expletives hissed from a usually innocent vernacular he rose, trembling legs and juddering breaths but he stood. On his own two feet he said no to facing his death alone on the stone floor and instead forced one foot in front of the other. He wasn’t going to die, he was going to live. He was going to _survive_.

The sunlight was blinding, for a moment he had forgotten the battle that raged on. The sight, the smells and sounds all numbed by his brush with the abyss. Now they were back in full force and he was painfully aware of his chances of survival but he was going to do it anyway.

**He had to.**

_For Jean_

He staggered out into the cobbled street, the carnage raged by and luckily there didn’t seem to be any Titans close by. Good, he wasn’t exactly in a position to move fast. Keeping close to the buildings for support he forced himself onward, each step was excruciating but the fire wasn’t just burning in his wounds, but rather now in his heart and in his eyes. He wasn’t going to stop no matter what.

_Just keep putting one foot in front of the other Marco! As long as you don’t stop moving._

Blood smeared across the walls of the buildings that supported his stagger, leaving a trail of breadcrumbs he was powerless to stop. All that mattered was moving, keep going… keep going.

Breaths ragged, hair matted with blood that dripped down his cheek camouflaging his freckles. He probably didn’t even look like himself anymore, not Marco, not human.

Instead he was willpower, a force of nature forcing this tired shell onwards until he achieved his mission. If he died then… then that was alright with him, as long as he achieved his mission. _As long as Jean would be safe knowing the truth._

His lungs burned, screaming with pain as every breath became agony. Just a little further… the sound of the fight up ahead were getting louder and he was both relieved and terrified. Fighting meant soldiers but it also meant Titans, and he couldn’t fight back, he could barely walk.

Onwards he stumbled, a dilapidated bakery became his crutch for a moment while he caught breath. The sounds of gear and flashes of uniform overhead made his heart leap.

Soldiers! He needed to attract attention somehow, if only he had his flare gun.. but it was too late for that now and nobody was going to see him lurking in the shadows. So he braced himself and stumbled weakly into the middle of the street collapsing to his knees on the cobblestones as his shaky legs finally gave out.

‘Help!” He cried weakly, voice gravelly and low “Help me!” His undamaged arm stretched up and waved back and forth slowly, unable to make a scene and just praying beyond belief somebody saw him.

“Someones injured!’ A familiar voice called from a nearby rooftop and Marco’s heart leapt

“P…please..”

“We don’t have time..”

“I think its’ a soldier, I’ll go and check” Connie’s voice echoed and before the other voice could object a soldier was shooting down towards him and Marco finally collapsed in relief, tears running down his face as he sobbed.

He had made it.. He could tell them the secrets. He could keep them safe, his only regret would be not seeing Jean again but maybe… Connie could pass on his words, that would make him happy.

“Shit what happened to you?” Connie’s boots hit the floor as he ran towards Marco “Are you alright? What’s your name? Oh my god!”

Marco managed to pull himself up, his face doing all the speaking for him

“SHIT! Marco what happened!” Connie yelled drawing closer in horror, eyes raking over Marco’s injuries. Despite himself Marco smiled

“Hey.. Connie… I need to tell you something…”

“Just hang on Marco!” Connie wasn’t listening to him as he fumbled for his flare gun “Shit hang on buddy its gonna be okay!”

“Connie, you have to listen to me” Marco rasped “This is… really important”

“Easy now Marco, you gotta save your energy”

“What’s going on?” The voice of the other soldier he had heard before echoed out, familiar but far away in his blurring cognition

“Shit, Jean its Marco! He’s badly hurt!”

_Jean… he was here…_

“ **Marco**!!” Jean yelled, his distraught voice drawing closer in a flurry of gear and pounding of boots as Jean landed heavily on the cobblestones and ran towards him. Voice cracked with agony as he threw himself to the ground and pulled Marco into his arms.

“Shit… what… oh god Marco… You..” Jeans fingers clumsily tried to brush his bangs back, his hair sticky with clotted blood. Letting out a horrified gasp at the sight of the gash on his forehead “You’re gonna be okay you hear me? Im gonna get you help”

“Jean… Its okay” Marco hated that his voice was just a whisper now, his energy finally running out “I just… I have to tell you something important..”

“Oh no” Jean was shaking his head and something wet was splashing Marco’s cheeks “No, No! Not like this! No… you can’t! god damn it!”

“But Jean.. I have to say this.. before its too late.. please listen”

“No! Whatever you have to say.. you can tell me when you get better alright? So just shut up already and let’s get out of here!”

“Jean!” Marco used the last of his waning strength to cry out “Please! Just listen to me! Im dying okay? We both know that… so just.. Listen to what I have to say its the last thing I can do so please…”

“No!” Jean yelled and Marco realised he was crying, tears rolling from his face and splashing Marco’s cheeks “You’re not dyin’ no way in hell! So just shut the fuck up!!”

“Jean..”

“Titan incoming!” Connie yelled taking back to the air and landing on the rooftop “I can buy you time but you have to move now!”

“Right!” Jean nodded and grimaced as he wrapped a careful arm around Marco “Im sorry… I know it hurts but it’s the only way”

“Jean no!” Marco’s eyes widened as he realised what Jean was planning “Theres no way you can support us both you’ll run out of gas. Just leave me here!”

“Are you fucking serious” Jean yelled, arms constricting tighter as he shifted Marco’s broken body into a better position “I ain’t leaving you so just.. just shut up already!”

“I have to tell you! Reiner and…”

“I told you already! You’re not dyin! I know what you’re doing, you’re trying to tell me now so you have an excuse to give up! Well I’m not gonna let you! If you want me to hear you then you have to **live!** You got that? You promised me we would join the MP’s together! You can’t break your promise to me just because you’re hurting, do you understand me!!”

“JEAN ITS COMING” Connie yelled taking to the sky in a flash “Hurry!!”

“Shit.. hold on” Jean hissed and clung to him tighter before firing up ahead and they were swinging between the buildings, flying away from the battle and towards the walls “just hang on!”

Marco’s good arm clamped tightly around Jean’s waist, the good side of his face pressed into Jean’s neck to numb himself to the sensations of the height and wind stinging at his cuts.

He was so tired, everything hurt but he had to hold on. He couldn’t let go until Jean listened to him, he had to smile despite it all. Damn Jean and his stubbornness, he would do anything to keep Marco alive. And Marco was loathe to disappoint him, he just had to try his best to keep his promises.

_Because no matter what, he wouldn’t let Jean down for anything in the world._

Feet slammed down onto a hard floor and Marco gasped as pain jolted through his body.

“Help! You have to help him!” Jean’s voice was frantic and Marco found himself being shifted and laid down gently on the floor. The world coming back into focus and Jean’s hazy image becoming clear as he leaned over him.

“You’re safe now Marco! We’re back inside the walls, the doctors are gonna help you so just hold on damn it! Don’t you dare give up on me”

“You know.. I wouldn’t let you down Jean”

“Fuck Marco....” Jean’s hands weresuddenly on one of his own, clasping it tightly as his body wracked with sobs “Shit! Marco don’t you dare leave me alone in this hell hole!”

He was crying, tears coursing down his face in endless waterfalls, clasping onto Marcos hand like a lifeline

“You have to move aside so we can treat him” a stern voice called and Jean shook his head

“I can’t leave him!”

“You have to or we can’t help him. You need to get back to your post and let us do our jobs!”

“But...”

“It’s alright” Marco smiled weakly squeezing Jeans hand “I.. won’t leave.. I promised you”

“You.. you better not! Or I’ll never forgive you do you hear me!?”

“I promise”

Jean’s hand went slack as he placed Marco’s hand gently down at his side, touch lingering for a moment before finally moving away.

“Soldier!”

“I’m going alright! I.. just save him”

Marco’s eyes were closing, lids lulling shut as tiredness overtook him. His injuries seemed to hurt less as he slipped into sleep and the last thing he recalled before he faded away was the feeling of a gentle kiss to the left side of his forehead. A smile crossed his lips and then sleep finally came to envelope him in peace.


	2. Jean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean has to deal with the aftermath of Trost, with Marco hospitalised and his feelings conflicted. 
> 
> Serious Canon Divergence ahead, This chapter length is a monster compared to the previous one but I wanted the Plot to flow more like the canon but with alterations and more happy endings.
> 
> (In which Marco doesn't die and things turn out much fluffier!)

Jean had to force himself to pull away from Marco’s prone form. His best friend lay there, battered and bleeding and all he wanted to do was try to take his pain away. It was so fucking unfair, his hands furled into painful fists, nails marking angry crescents into his palms.

Marco was the kindest and most decent person he had ever met. He was honest, kind, loyal, brave. Of all the people Jean had ever met he could say hand on heart, that Marco was the most deserving of a happy ending. He was just _good_ , through and through.

So how could life be so cruel as to have him suffer so much?

His heart had almost stopped when he had seen Marco laying on the floor, blood everywhere, weak voice trying to utter his last words and Jean would not have it. There’s no way he was going to let Marco die. He couldn’t, he would just as soon slit his own throat than abandon Marco.

Hit boots thumped across the stone as he ran and flung himself back up over the wall and towards Trost. Fuck! it felt so wrong to leave, but he was a soldier. He had a duty, he would see this plan through and help protect humanity.

_For Marco_

Every second was unbearable, every moment could be the last one that Marco drew breath without him. The fear would have surely consumed him whole if he weren’t fighting. Instead he let it be his weapon, his anger and fear, his pain. He let that guide his feet, aim his sword, **_fight, fight, fight! You cannot loose!_**

Marco’s words nagged in the back of his mind no matter how hard he tried to shake them away. He had so badly wanted to tell Jean something, what if he died before getting to utter them? What if right now on the other side of the wall Marco’s body was giving up? What if this moment was his last one on this mortal plain and Jean wasn’t at his side? His words left forever unspoken. He should have listened, he should have let him speak.

**_No, No, No!_ **

He couldn’t have. Jean knew what happened when people had served their purpose. They had no reason to fight on anymore. Jean couldn’t give him a reason to give up! He needed Marco to fight to stay alive, to tell him what he wanted to say in a conversation and not a dying declaration.

Part of him... wondered if he knew deep down what Marco was going to say. In a persons final moments, words of goodbye needed to be spoken. Unfinished business resolved, Silent feelings finally made reality.

**_Did Marco..._ **

No

Not now. If you want to get back to Marco and hear his words yourself you need to fight

**_Fight_ **

**_FIGHT_ **

**_...._ **

The battle was over although Jean couldn’t say he was celebrating that fact. As soon as humanly possible he fled back to the walls, to get back to Marco’s side.

Please.. whatever god or force or _whatever_ the fuck is out there please let Marco be alive... please...

_Please don’t leave me_

The injured, sick and dying were everywhere. Doctors and nurses running frantically around between injured soldiers in the Garrison hospital, there was so much pain and death in the air and for a moment it almost pulled him under.

_What if he was dead?_

If he hadn’t locked eyes on the same nurse who had sent him back to his post he may have broken down. At least he had one stroke of luck today, despite the carnage she seemed to recognise Jean and led him down to a ward.

“He’s unconscious but you can stay with him” she said briskly “The doctor will be along shortly on his rounds, he will be able to tell you more about your friends condition” and then she was gone leaving Jean stood at the foot of a hospital bed, hands trembling as he finally confirmed Marco was alive with his own two eyes.

His chest continued to rise and fall and for a moment that’s all Jean could see. He was breathing, his heart beating.. he drew closer on shaky legs, hardly daring to take his eyes away for a second. But Marco continued to breathe. His hand reached out, pressing gently on his chest above his heart. It thrummed under his fingers as though to show him. **I’m here, I’m alive.**

That’s when Jean sobbed, forehead pressing into the sheets as cried his eyes out, his hand still splayed shakily over his friends chest. His heartbeat the only thing in the world that was real, alive under his fingertips. He could feel it thrumming through his fingers, through his veins. Marco’s heartbeat joining his own in a stream of steady beats like a melody that grounded him.

_He’s alive, we’re alive_. And Jean had never been more grateful for anything in the world.

When he finally cried the last of his tears, surely he didn’t have any water left in him the amount that has soaked into the sheets. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, sniffling as he tried to compose himself. Only then did he finally look properly at the damage done to his best friend.

Marco’s eyes were closed, the blood that had matted his face and hair when Jean had found him was mercifully gone now, cleaned off him by a meticulous nurse. Bandages wrapped around his forehead where his injury had been. He could see bandages winding around his chest and shoulder, one arm crossed across his chest and banged up while the other lay at his side. It was a jarring juxtaposition, one side of his body healthy, unmarked and making him look as though he were merely sleeping. The other side swathed in bandages and gauze, hiding the lacerations he had seen bleeding on the battlefield.

He looked peaceful despite it all, but that was Marco all over wasn’t it? In the face of all adversity, when hope was all but gone he could still bring calm. Marco was special. He always had been, and yet he was the one that had always believed in Jean and championed his ability to do anything. To be the star.

_I’m not though Marco, not without you._

The makeshift curtain diving Marco’s bed from the others was pulled back suddenly pulling Jean from his trance, the appearance of a doctor with Shadis accompanying him was a sobering vision and Jean pulled himself up sharply.

“S..Sir” he saluted weakly and it must have been a testament to how broken he looked that Shadis simply nodded.

“Kirschtein.. at ease”

Jean nodded and immediately his hand fell back down to his side, gripping Marco’s once more. Relief flooding his chest that Marco was still warm from the few seconds they had been parted, his pulse thrumming strong under Jean’s fingertips.

Shadis’ eyes followed his hand but he said nothing, instead turning to the doctor

“What’s his prognosis?”

“Marco Bodt…” The doctor flicked through his papers “Sustained non fatal lacerations to the face, neck and torso, the pattern falls in line with teeth, obviously Titan. He was extremely lucky not to be killed, any deeper and his skull would have cracked, his body probably torn in two”

Jean’s hands trembled and he gripped harder on Marco’s prone hand. He had come so close to dying. _He still might.._

_“_ His ribs are broken mostly on his right side, he also has a serious contusion to the back of his head consistent with a fall. My deduction would be a Titan dropped him mid trying to eat him, I would say this boy was extremely lucky but..”

“But what?” Jean’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach at the hesitation in the doctors voice

“He lost a lot of blood and the trauma to his body and mind is extreme. He’s gone into a coma to cope with the pain, there’s no way to tell when he will wake up… if at all”

“N…no.. Marco! You have to wake up! You had important things to tell me! Remember? Remember! It’s okay… you can wake up now everything is okay….” Jean’s voice was pitiful and he could feel himself crying again as he turned back to his friend, beseeching him with words that fell onto deaf ears. Marco was far away inside his own head where Jean’s pleas couldn’t reach him.

“Kirschtein”

Jean couldn’t even bring himself to care that his commander was witnessing his breakdown, that Shadis could see his tears and his desperation and how his heart was breaking right now in his chest.

“What do you mean by that”

“Uh… Sir” he clumsily tried to wipe his face with his other sleeve sniffling miserably “When I found him he… said he had something really important to tell me. He… said he was dying and… so he needed to tell me before it was too late..” Jean chewed his lip, eyebrows furrowing in concentration as he tried to recall Marco’s words, relive in his head the blurred, panicked moments when he had found Marco bleeding. Such was his concentration he didn’t notice Shadis’ face shift into a slightly awkward conclusion of his own.

“He.. he mentioned Reiner” Jean said slowly “And then he told me to leave him behind because he was worried about me running out of gas.. he really didn’t think he was going to make it…”

“ _Your_ gas? What about his own gear?”

“He didn’t have any, his was gone.”

“Hmmm” Shadis seemed to consider the words for a moment before nodding “Alright, you will be expected to return to duty tomorrow Kirschtein, no excuses. Your friend isn’t the only one who got hurt do you understand?”

“Y.. yes Sir, thank you Sir”

The curtain drew back as Shadis and the doctor left, no doubt to visit the next soldier hurt in this pointless battle. Lives of even more good people destroyed by Titans, for what damn good reason?

“You hear that Marco? I Don’t have to go yet… I can stay here with you until tomorrow. Just how it should be right? Us two together like we always are. Even in the barracks we bunk together, so it’s just like that right? How we talk until we’re too tired and sometimes you end up half in my bunk but it’s okay because you don’t snore and you share the blankets properly and you stop me throwing pillows at Connie when he talks in his sleep. We’re… just… in a different place…but… thats okay cause were both here together! Right?… Right?”

Marco didn’t reply but that was okay.. he was just really tired. He needed his rest…

Clumsily he stroked his hair trying to comfort him, but it wasn’t soft anymore… it was coarse with dirt, blood remnants, sweat and tears and it needed those scrubbing from it at once with gentle hands so he could be more _Marco again_. Thats what made Jean weep once more, burying his face into the crook of Marco’s neck on his good side. Everything about Marco was good and soft and pure, and now it was broken, dirty and dying and it was more than he could bare anymore.

“Im sorry… I’m so sorry… I’m sorry Marco… I’m sorry”

……

Morning came abruptly with a nurse rousing him, his back ached painfully from his slumped slumber, sweaty hand still clasping Marco’s own. He pulled himself up groaning, his back screaming in protest but every second of his vigil had been worth it because Marco was still breathing.

“I don’t want to leave you but.. you still need to sleep and… we graduate soon so I need to keep our names in that top 10 yeah? We will be going to the MP’s in a few days so… you need to wake up for then” He smiled softly as he kissed Marco’s forehead “Rest up okay? I’ll be back later…”

Maybe he wouldn’t have left at all but the nurses watchful eyes followed him and the last thing he wanted was Shadis called because Jean refused to leave or kicked up a fuss. They needed to stay in the Top 10 and Jean was going to ruin Marco’s chances by being an asshole.

  
Even if walking away and leaving him to the unknown future stabbed him in the heart with every step away he took.

…..

It was just carnage, devastation. His home town in ruins.

Jean walked the streets, heart heavy. Marco lingering on the edge of his thoughts no matter how hard he tried to not think about him until his work was over. It would drive him crazy otherwise, if he allowed himself to wonder if Marco was okay, if he was still breathing. Instead he helped gather the dead, what little of them were left and bringing them to their final resting place on the pyres where they would say their last goodbyes.

As he rounded a corner he locked eyes upon the latest cadaver. A young man probably around his own age perhaps a little older, his body slumped against the wall surrounded by blood. The broken bones of his exposed ribcage jutting sharply out, fragments scattered onto the floor. Half his body was gone and it took everything in Jean not to vomit at the sight. He looked a little like Marco, dark hair falling in curtains and the morbid curiosity drew him closer as though in a trance. It wasn’t… it couldn’t be… Marco was in the hospital.

It was only when he crouched down and looked at his face he saw the absence of freckles, the green of his eyes and it was a great yet terrible relief that flooded him.

The thought of finding Marco dead ate him up inside. He could well have died if it weren’t for Connie. It still haunted him how he has reacted to Connie’s observation of an injured soldier down below.

_“We don’t have time”_

He had been so preoccupied with reaching their destination he would have unknowingly left Marco there to die. If Connie hadn’t gone to check anyway… The guilt of that moment was always there in the back of his mind poking away at him, making him feel unworthy of being Marco’s friend. Of being a leader at all.

But now wasn’t the time. Jean was alive and these people were dead and they deserved a real goodbye. Shaking back his composure he got back to work, knowing as soon as the task was done he could see Marco again.

…..

He didn’t even bother with dinner and only showered fast in his fear of bringing something gross into the hospital, nothing would make him risk Marco’s health. He practically raced to the military hospital, his heart not being able to slow down until he saw Marco again.

He was exactly as he left him, Jeans relief was palpable as he sat at Marco’s side once again and taking his hand. He was still breathing peacefully and Jean traced his cheek with gentle fingers.

“Hey you, you’re still pretty tired out huh? Thats a shame… I miss talking to you but I’m glad you’re safe. We’re going to be spending the next few days cleaning up the city and gathering the fallen soldiers so… You’ve got some time before graduation to get better”

Talking to Marco helped, it made things more normal somehow so he chattered away to him just glad to be with him. Eventually the doctor and Shadis arrived for updates and Jean was told to go back by the commander to the barracks to sleep. Begrudgingly he said goodbye to Marco and squeezed his hand tightly, reassuring him in a low voice that he would be back tomorrow.

…..

Each day Jean worked hard so nobody could accuse him of not pulling his weight, he wasn’t going to let them strip the Top 10 from him for something so small. So he bust his ass before scoffing a quick meal, showering and racing over to the hospital.

“The Survey Corps are back” Armin was talking but Jean simply rolled his eyes and continued to shovel the food into his face so he could leave.

“Hmm, I heard they are going to be investigating the incident at Trost…” Mikasa nodded and Jean surprised himself even at how he wasn’t taking the opportunity to hang on her every word. Weird… well… its not like he didn’t have more important things to think about right now. Marco was far more important than flirting.

“Are you gonna finish that?” Sasha was at his elbow staring down at his half finished meal and he shook his head and shoved it towards her, a huge smile spreading her face as she squeaked excited

“Jean! You’re a true gentleman in these cruel times I’m forever in your debt!”

“You’re going already?” Armin asked in a worried voice and Jean nodded

“I’m going to see Marco”

“A..again?”

“Yeah, i want to be there as much as I can for when he wakes up”

“He’s still not awake?” Reiner asked and Jean shook his head

“No.. but… I’m sure it will be soon”

He didn’t register the looks of pity sent his way from his squad. If he had been looking closely he would have seen the doubt, the sadness, and more interestingly, the sharp eyes of Annie, Reiner and Berthold upon him.

Instead he chose to sprint over to the hospital, finding the warm relief that always greeted him when he saw Marco. Every day he would be sleeping with the same serene expression on his face, looking so far away from him but so calm and that made Jean feel calm too. Marco was okay, just tired… just sleeping.

Today however he was not greeted by that familiar sight, his breathing hitching and his heart leaping into his mouth at the vision of Marco lay slumped on the bed. His bandages unwound exposing open welts on his torso that wept a strange colour and it made him want to vomit. Something was wrong… he didn’t look _right._

_“_ What.. Marco?” Dumbfounded he tried to walk closer but was cut off by a nurse and doctor pushing back into the cubicle.

“You need to stay back Jean” The nurse he was relieved to see was the familiar one, the one that always let him stay longer than he was supposed to.

“What’s happening?”

“He’s got a massive infection, his blood was probably poisoned from being injured in the dirty streets, we’re doing what we can”

“He’s gonna be alright though! Tell me he’s going to be alright?”

“You have to leave, we can’t risk him getting any worse”

“But… I… I have to be here with him! I have to be with him when he wakes up and if he’s alone I…”

“Jean” The nurse turned to face him as the doctor bent over Marco, hands moving over the infected wounds “You need to let us work, Marco’s condition is serious. We can’t risk you passing anything to him, or we could loose him. The best thing you can do now is go back to your barracks”

“But… I can’t leave him, please! Just let me hold his hand?” He was sobbing now, pleading as tears streamed down his cheeks “He has to know I’m here! That I would never leave him alone. I don’t want him to feel scared… Please!”

“Im sorry…”

“Kirschstein” Shadis’ voice boomed behind him and Jean span in surprise

“S..sir”

“Whats going on here? Whats wrong?”

“Bodt has taken a turn for the worse” The doctor called over “He seems to have an infection, unfortunately there isn’t much we can do. We just don’t have the supplies or the medication necessary to treat him properly”

“Wha… What do you mean? Is Marco gonna die?” Jeans hysteria couldn’t even be curbed by the presence of his commander.

“I’d say it’s 50/50” the Doctor said “We can only wait and see, If we were in the MP’s with their resources or even the Survey Corps with their experiments… But alas we can only do so much here”

“N..no… He can’t die! He’s just sleeping! Marco, Marco! You have to wake up now!”

“Come on Kirschstein” Shadis took his arm “It’s time to go”

“No! I can’t! Sir Please!?”

“Thats enough Kirschtein! Theres nothing you can do here”

Jean’s eyes locked onto Marco’s face desperately looking for a sign, a flicker of his eyes, his lips. But nothing.

“Im right here Marco! I won’t give up on you so don’t you dare give up on me! You made a promise to me remember! I can’t do this without you!”

He didn’t register anything else through the tears. Not Shadis leading him out of the hospital and only when his commanders stern eyes locked onto his did he realise the gravity of the situation

“Sir… I’m sorry I forgot myself”

“Im going to pretend I didn’t see you today. You were not present in Bodt’s hospital room and I did not see you cry and shout. Do you understand me?”

“S.. Sir? But.. why?”

The commander looked pensive for a moment before saying slowly

“Love can do strange things to all of us. Now get back to your barracks now or I’ll suddenly remember seeing you again”

“Yes Sir! Thank you Sir!”

Shadis turned and retreated back into the hospital and Jean was left alone and red faced as the words sank in.

_Love can do strange things to all of us_

_Did Shadis think he was in love with Marco?_

….

Jean had decided to heed the commanders words and had walked back to the barracks but he couldn’t bring himself to go inside yet. He couldn’t face everyones questions, telling them Marco was worse and that he might die. Letting them see his puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

Instead he walked to the field lowest to the barracks and sat down in the grass, out of sight and finally alone to cry.

Marco….

He couldn’t really die..could he? He still had to tell Jean his message…

He couldn’t believe Shadis had forgiven him for his outburst at the hospital, he had been so sure he was about to land in hot water. Shadis had forgiven him because he was acting out of _love._

Now Shadis thought that he was in love with his best friend and… he couldn’t blame him for reaching that conclusion. What was even love anyway? The unconditional care and commitment to another person. Wanting their health and happiness about all else even over your own, being willing to give anything to see them smile. For them to be happy? So when you thought about it like that, Jean did love Marco and that’s why this hurt so much.

Yeah he loved Marco but he wasn’t _in love_ with him

_Right?_

He lay there in the field, staring up at the stars and hoping, praying, pleading to any god or deity left in this god forsaken world

“Please protect Marco… let him be okay, please I’ll do anything”

The stars reminded him of Marco’s freckles, the field reminded him of the nights they had sat together talking, everything that mattered to him was _Marco._ And he couldn’t imagine a life without him in it.

He cried until he was exhausted and finally dragged himself to the barracks letting himself in as quietly as possible. Luckily everyone was asleep and he padded lightly to his bunk, stripping off his shirt and pants for bed and then pausing as he looked at Marco’s own empty bed.

He reached slowly over and pulled out Marco’s shirt that he slept in and raised it to his face. It smelt like him.. or warmth and comfort and normality. _Of home._

Before he could question his own actions or the ramifications of these feelings, he tugged it over his head and climbed up to his own bunk sinking under the covers. He could play pretend that Marco was really here with him, that everything was normal and fine. His best friend was just sleeping soundly next to him and tomorrow would be a boring and tiring day of training and _everything was going to be alright._

If the scent of the shirt made it feel like Marco’s arms were around him snuggling up to him tightly then he chose to enjoy that feeling, and not dwell on what that really meant to him.

That was a problem for tomorrow’s Jean.

…..

Waking up in Marco’s clothes filled Jean with some conflicting emotions, while part of him felt reassured and comforted another huge part of him know this wasn’t normal. Not normal behaviour for a _friend_ anyway.

It was normal… for someone you loved.

Brushing the thoughts aside he carefully folded up Marcos clothes and after a moments thought placed them under his own pillow.. for later.

Today was going to drag, after the doctors words yesterday he had no idea what to expect on his visit today, would be even be allowed to see him? The worry was eating him alive, the fear of the unknown and the constant panic was exhausting.

“The scouts are investigating what happened at Trost, Armin was talking to Mikasa “Now that Eren is in their ranks they…”

His words were just white noise to Jean, spooning his food into his mouth as his mind focused solely on the new sensation in his stomach. The strange prickly yet fluttery feeling that bloomed in his chest when he thought about Marco. A feeling that was stronger than the fear, more powerful than his worry and… different from friendship.

_What was this feeling? Why was his heart speeding up? Why did sleeping in Marco’s clothes make him feel… so strange yet… right somehow?_

_“_ Theres going to be a speech from Commander Erwin at the selection, I’m not sure how many people will want to join the scouts but..”

Armin’s chatter finally reached Jean who looked up sharply

“What were you saying Armin? About the Scouts?”

“Oh, they have custody of Eren now so… we’re going to see them today, they want to know everything we know about Trost and Eren’s Titan abilities..”

Jean could hardly even hear him, The doctors words ringing in his ears _“If we were in the MP’s with their resources or even the Survey Corps with their experiments”_

“Armin! The doctor told me.. the Survey Corps have more medicine at their disposal than the Garrison! Maybe they could help Marco!”

“Hmm.. Thats a good point they probably could” Armin’s brows furrowed as the pondered “We could see if they would be willing to treat him.. after all he is the 7th ranked cadet in our troop”

“We can only try” Mikasa affirmed “We can talk to them today, we’re going to see them.. and Eren so.. lets see what we can do”

“Please.. please convince them to help us!” He beseeched them both desperately “This could be Marco’s only chance, they may not listen to me but.. you guys… you can make them listen!”

“Dont worry Jean, we won’t take this responsibility lightly” Mikasa replied softly “To the best of our abilities, we will try to get help for Marco. We promise”

….

The day truly **had** dragged painfully and Jean finally was free to race over to the hospital. Mikasa and Armin hadn’t been at dinner so he had to hope they were with the Survey Corps still, that their pleas had been heard. Please god… a ray of light at the end of this misery please…

Desperately hoping for some good news finally, Jean pulled back the curtain to Marco’s bed, but to his astonishment and _rag_ e. Eren, Armin and Mikasa were stood at Marco’s bedside talking together quietly.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jean snarled moving protectively to Marco’s side as though to form a barrier between Eren and his friend.

“You’re not the only one that’s allowed to be here” Eren snapped back “We care about Marco too”

“You..”

“He’s right Jean” Armin said softly “We do care about Marco a lot too, none of us wants to loose him and we want to help. We know you’re the closest to him but that doesn’t mean we don’t care too”

“You don’t understand!”

“We do Jean, We know what Marco means to you, how you feel about him”

“Do you? Jean challenged darkly “Do you know understand exactly what it is that _I feel?_ ”

“Whatever you feel we’re the ones that have bought the Scouts here to help!”

“Enough chatter” a short yet terrifying looking man silenced the room, appearing out of nowhere. Despite his stature this man had an aura of “I will destroy all of you single handed” and the room immediately fell into a hasty hush.

“Captain Levi” Eren Saluted “this is Horsefa… This is Jean, he’s the one who has been taking care of Marco”

“Is that so… Hmm’ Levi seemed to scrutinise him a moment before turning his attention to Marco “He’s seen better days”

“He was almost eaten by a Titan…”

“And you want our help to treat him”

“Yes Sir.. Please”

“Hanji” The man turned to address another person who Jean hadn’t even noticed. Excitement sparkled behind their glasses as they lunged to Marco’s side, ponytail flapping.

“How intriguing! Look at the bite pattern alignment! These impressions! I would wager..” They chattered away, rambling to themselves as they checked Marco’s wounds, checking paperwork and pulling implements from their white coat, taking his temperature, measuring the bite marks and all manner of other experiments that worried Jean.

“H.. hey what..”

“So, what’s in it for us?” Captain Levi addressed Jean momentarily distracting him from Hanji’s ministrations

“Im sorry?”

“Why should we use our resources on your friend?”

“Wha? I…”

“Aww come on Levi lemme!” Hanji was practically drooling “He’s the most exciting case I’ve found in years! This is the perfect chance to study Titan..”

“Quiet Hanji, I know perfectly well what you think. But that doesn’t mean that we have the resources to waste. So tell me Jean, What does your friend have to offer that makes it worth our time?”

Jean’s head was swimming at the latest development, to get access to the treatment that might save Marco’s life he had to convince this stern captain that his best friends life was _worth_ saving.

“Marco is.. the most earnest and loyal person.. He’s capable and strong! He’s in the top 10 of our regiment! He’s the one everyone trusts, the one everyone depends on he… He’s the heart of us all!”

“Earnest, optimistic recruits are a dime a dozen kid, What makes him more worthy of our time than anyone else?”

“Because! Because Marco is the best person among all of us! Maybe he isn’t the best at being a soldier but he’s the _best person_. He’s just.. _good_! He doesn’t deserve to die! Please! Please help him to live!” If he had to beg he would beg, he would get onto his knees and plead to this tiny benevolent god if he had to “I’ll do anything Captain! Because I’m damn sure this world isn’t worth saving if Marco isn’t in it!” Bowing his head he sank to his knees, willing to throw all of his pride away if it helped his words reach the captain.

“Alright then”

Raising his head he locked wide teary eyes upon the captains own dark, unflinching ones.

“R-really?”

“I said so didn’t I? We will help him, but all things come with a price kid”

“Whatever the price is… it will be worth it”

“Alright, then by accepting our treatment he comes under our care, therefore Marco becomes a member of the Survey Corps”

The words hung heavy in the air and Jean’s mouth flapped open in horror as he took them in, it could save Marco’s life... but then sign him up for death. Climbing to his feet he started aghast at the Captain.

“N.. no!”

“Jean!” Armin sounded worried, eyes darting back to Levi.

“No! Not that, there’s no way. Marco he...” he glanced down at his friends sleeping face, the sweat on his face as his body fought the infection. He didn’t look peaceful now he looked in pain, he hurt and it made Jean ache in places he didn’t know he had inside of him.

“Look kid we don’t have the resources to waste on just anyone. Nothing personal but the Survey Corps gets bare bones as it is, we can’t afford to waste a damn thing. If you want us to treat your friend he becomes one of our own, otherwise you can plead your case to the MP’s doctors” Levi stated flatly, no malice in his voice but no compassion either “That’s just the way it works, we play the cards we are dealt. We can treat our own faction, nothing more”

“But how can I make that choice for him? I can’t! He dreamed of being an MP. I can’t take that from him”

“If you don’t he might die Jean” Mikasa interjected “They have medicine that can save him. It’s a sacrifice but it might save his life”

“I can’t save his life to throw it away!” Jean clamped his hands over his ears burying his face into his knees “What if he never forgives me for signing away his dreams?”

“He won’t have dreams if he doesn’t wake up Jean”

Gasping in a breath he concentrated on calming himself until he stopped trembling. Slowly he raised himself up, getting to his feet to walk over to Marco’s side. He looked so sick and it was breaking Jean’s heart, he would do anything to save him but…

“I don’t know what the right decision is” He spoke finally, voice raspy with emotion “I know logically what to do but.. is it right? To make that choice for him? Or do I trust him to fight it himself? I can’t ask him what he wants… He would trust me to make the right choice… He always said… he would follow my decisions… But my decisions are selfish, because I just want Marco back”

Silence hung over the room, even Hanji had stopped and was watching him carefully. To Jean’s surprise it was Levi that spoke up.

“I don’t know what the right answer is, I never have. No one knows what the outcome will be. So as much as you can, choose whatever you’ll regret the least”

_What I’ll regret the least… Will I regret this chance to help him? Can I risk loosing him? Going through life without him by my side? Looking at that kind, sweet face and saying ’no don’t help him’ But then looking into his eyes and telling him that I signed him up to the Survey Corps? Knowing Marco… he would be okay with that. He’s so selfless… kind and good… he would dedicate his heart to humanity… And I wouldn’t be able to leave his side. I can’t go to the MP’s without him. All this is for Marco I can’t abandon him._

Then all at once it came to him. _The decision he would regret the least._ He smiled softly down at Marco, tentatively stoking his forehead. _It’s alright Marco… I know what I have to do._

“You’re confident you can help him?” He asked Hanji who nodded enthusiastically

“Oh yes, I would say he has a great chance with my treatment, I have just the medications that…”

“Then take me instead” He turned to Levi, the words blurted out of Jean’s chest before he could stop them. He couldn’t say they tasted badly on his tongue though, he didn’t want to take them back.

Eren and Armin were looking at him as though he had grown another head but he restated his case “I’ll pledge my heart and soul to the Survey Corps. Take my devotion, in Marco’s stead. Please... just help him and I’ll do anything. He deserves peace, the life he dreamed of.. He deserves... everything... let me fight in his place so he can finally have safety, rest.. comfort. Please let me do this, _for him”_

His voice trailed away as raw emotion bloomed in his chest and he had to choke back his tears.

“You really would do anything?” Levi questioned with a raised eyebrow

“Yes”

“Jean... you’re sure about this?” Armin asked softly and Jean nodded firmly and saluted Levi with purpose.

“I offer up my heart Captain. Please accept my devotion, please help Marco”

“Deal, Hanji do your thing” and with that he walked away calling over his shoulder “And rookie, try not to piss your pants when you actually sign up alright?”

“Yes sir!”

“Jean… I guess I didn’t really understand how you felt..” Eren trailed off “But.. I think you did the selfless thing, and the best thing for Marco”

“Don’t you worry your head about it!” Hanji trilled “I know exactly what to do, I’m going to get Moblit so we can start his treatment immediately. Not only are we going to save him but he’s going to be invaluable in helping me further my research on Titans! The things I’m going to be able to learn from him… I can hardly contain myself” Hanji breezed out of the room to retrieve this mysterious Moblit and Jean breathed his first sigh of relief.

“Its gonna be okay Marco… It’s all going to be okay now. Soon you’ll be able to wake up again… and I can’t wait to see you, I miss you..”

Walking away that day was hard, but it would be harder to stay and watch as Hanji started to mess around with the infected parts of Marco’s wounds. So he decided to say goodnight to his best friend instead, today he didn’t feel quite as judged under the eyes of Hanji and Moblit as he had under Shadis. So he felt comfortable this time to kiss Marco’s forehead and whisper a proper goodbye to him.

“Don’t worry Jean! Your boyfriend is going to be safe with me!”

“Uh… Marco isn’t… my…”

Hanji wasn’t listening anymore, concentrating on their work and Jean couldn’t find the urgency to correct them.

…..

Hanji was like a dog with two tails. Alternating time between Marco’s treatment and the two Titans that had been captured, Jean wasn’t sure he had ever seen someone with so much enthusiasm.

To his relief Marco’s treatment had been faring well. The infection had been combatted from both Hanji’s medication and surgical procedures to remove the infected tissue.. which Jean had not wanted to hear about in any great detail. He was now back to resting peacefully, Hanji assuring him that the healing process was now in full swing and they were confident with monitoring and the appropriate care that Marco would wake up soon.

Soon couldn’t come fast enough

…

Jean climbed out of bed as he pushed Marco’s clothes back under his own pillow for later that night.. at this point he couldn’t imagine sleeping in anything else, it was the only comfort he had. Late at night after dark where he could immerse himself in the scent of his best friend and linger in his presence however faint it may be. It was still Marco and it let him sleep easy.

This particular morning to his surprise upon arriving to the squad there was a fuss everywhere

“What’s going on?” He asked Krista who filled him in with a worried voice

“Hanji’s Titans Sonny and Beane were destroyed. Someone killed them, we have to present out gear for an inspection to try and find out who did it”

“Wha… why would someone do that?”

‘I don’t know, it’s so confusing. I can’t imagine anybody here wanting to stop Hanji’s research!”

“Are you hitting on my girl Jean?” Ymir had appeared from nowhere wrapping her arm protectively around Krista’s shoulders

“As if” Jean huffed, Krista may be an angel in human form but the last thing he cared about right now was _flirting. Especially when his thoughts of Marco made his heart pound so fast._

“Stop It Ymir” Krista scolded gently “I’m just telling him about the inspection, and Jean isn’t like that anyway!”

“Yeah Ymir!” Jean smirked, pleased despite himself

“He’s got Marco remember…” Kirsta was saying as she led Ymir away and for the second time this week Jean was rendered speechless by someone assuming he and Marco were involved. And just like last time, he dint have the energy to correct her.

….

The inspection was finally over and Jean shut his gear away in relief, prepared to go straight over to the hospital. To his surprise when he turned around Mikasa and Armin were stood waiting for him, looking more like a wall to block him leaving than anything else.

  
“What’s going on guys” He crossed his arms defensively, an eyebrow raising quizzically

“We need you to come with us down to see Commander Erwin” Armin said to him quietly and Jean frowned

“Why? Im going to see Marco”

“No Jean, this is important”

“More important than M…”

“Jean” Mikasa cut him off with a sharp voice “Trust us”

“… Alright” Jean begrudgingly agreed, Mikasa was more stern than usual and Armin looked extremely worried, something must be seriously important for them to keep him from Marco so he nodded “Fine lets go”

They led him downstairs, away from he rest of the cadets and down a dark corridor. The ominous feeling of dread growing deeper by the moment but to his relief they finally emerged in an open wooden beamed room where commander Erwin, Captain Levi, Hanji and Eren were stood.

“What’s going on?” Jean asked curiously as Mikasa shut and bolted the door behind them.

“Thank you for joining us Jean” Erwin greeted him

“Thats…fine. So.. is someone going to tell me what’s going on?”

“As you know, Sonny and Beane were slain today”

“My poor babies” Hanji sobbed

“Its been imperative that we get to the bottom of what happened”

“What do those dumb Titans have to do with anything important?” Jean snapped in exasperation. He was exhausted and hungry and stressed out of his mind with worry he don’t have time to care about Hanji’s pet project.

“Because...” Armin’s voice dropped low and he looked hesitantly at Erwin

“What is about to be said cannot leave this room” Erwin said deep and commanding “All of you here present are bound to secrecy, our future depends on it. You will all be vital players in how our plan forward will unfold”

The words hang heavy in the air and Jean swallowed, his mouth dry and chest tight with fear.

“You all presented your gear for inspection today correct?”

Jean nodded “Yeah..”

“All gear passed the inspection meaning that the culprit was not amongst you”

“So what does that have to do..”

“Except.. one cadet did not present their own gear”

“W..what?”

“One person presented a gear for inspection which was not their own. Meaning they used their own gear to commit the act, then swapped the gear for another soldiers to present for the inspection”

“But how would anybody do that? We only have one set of gear and..”

“Jean...” Armin looked down at the floor, chewing his lip nervously “I recognised the gear. I knew straight away who it belonged to. We spent so much time maintaining our gear together.. taking and helping each other.. I’d recognise it anywhere. So I knew instantly..”

“What are you trying to say Armin?”

“You... found Marco with no gear right?”

“N..no, no. No! You’re wrong you’re not saying that... it can’t be...”

“Someone took Marco’s gear from him. And they presented it as their own today”

“You’re telling me Marco was attacked by one of our own people? That he almost died because of humans? They left him defenceless...?”

“That’s the conclusion we have come to. Unfortunately our enemies are not just Titan, they have infiltrated our very ranks”

“Who! Who did it?” The spark of realisation igniting inside Jean “Who the fuck has his gear? Who hurt Marco?! Tell me!!”

Nobody spoke for a moment. Eren looked conflicted, Armin still staring at the floor.

“It was Annie Leonheart” Erwin told him and Jean’s mouth flapped open

“N.. no.. Annie? She.. tried to kill Marco?”

“We believe so. We looked into her past and it seems.. she hails from the same place as Reiner and Berthold”

“Marco was trying to tell me something about Reiner...” Jean gasped in horror “Oh my god... they tried to kill him?”

“Marco must have heard something they didn’t want him to hear.. they tried to silence him for good”

“No, no, no!” Jean clasped his hands over his ears trying to drown out the painful reality as he let out a heart wrenching sob “Marco didn’t deserve this! How could they.. how..”

“Jean..”

“I can’t deal with this! I need to get to Marco I need...”

“Jean” Erwin held his arm firmly but not rough as he focused his intense gaze upon him “I know this is a lot to take in. But for humanity and for Marco we need our next steps to be precise. You need to focus, we need you in our plans if you want Marco to be safe”

_For Marco..._

“Okay...” he rasped after a moment of rubbing his eyes with his sleeve and psyching himself up for the next news “I’m listening”

“We have to assume whoever did wanted Marco dead is afraid he will wake up. Therefore his life could well be in danger, we are going to transfer him immediately to the Survey Corps own fort for his medical treatment”

“If that’s true then why haven’t they tried to get to him already?”

“Because you’re always by his side Jean” Mikasa spoke softly Every spare moment you’ve been with him has kept him safe”

A lump formed in Jean’s throat and his hands shook at his sides. Was that really true? Had his dedication to Marco been keeping him safe? Unseen assassins lurking but unable to strike because of Jean’s constant presence at his best friends side.

_Had Jean’s love kept Marco Safe?_

“Marco will be safe at the Survey Corps headquarters. Eren will be present as he has joined their ranks after his trial, he will be on alert for any members of your squadron, although they will have no reason to believe Marco is with us”

“So where are they going to think he is? Won’t the other recruits ask questions”

“That’s where you come in Jean” Erwin said sombrely “Officially, as of this evening Marco Bodt had been pronounced dead”

“Wha... what?!”

“Marco succumbed to his injuries and passed away today. This is what you need to convince everyone in your squadron. They cannot know that he lives, they need to believe their secrets are safe and secure”

“I can’t.. I can’t tell people he’s dead It’s like.. wishing him dead”

“It’s not the same, you’re doing this for his own good. If everyone thinks he’s dead nobody will be after him. Right now that’s what he needs, he’s responding well to treatment and he need security and safety to recoup”

“I know but... why me?.. I don’t know if I can convince people, hell I can’t even wrap my own head around this shit!”

“You can, you’re the _only_ one that can do this. Your devotion to Marco is what will convince them, you have been at his side constantly they will never doubt what you say you saw”

“So I convince the squadron Marco didn’t make it.. then what?”

“You’ll tell them tomorrow at selection. After that, when you’re officially part of the Survey Corps you’ll be Marco’s bodyguard until the mission is over”

“The mission?”

“Yes. We are going to capture the traitors. We are going to take the world back”

....

The fire raged In front of them, the heat making Jean sweat but it felt good. Cleansing in a way, the fire consumed the remains of the brave souls lost at Trost and Jean had to hope they were in a better place now.

A fragment of bone fell from the fire and Jean bent down slowly to pick it up, turning it gently in his palm.

These bones could belong to anybody, they could have been Marco’s. Or someone else he cared about, the Titans didn’t discriminate, this war wasn’t picky. They traitors in their midsts wouldn’t distinguish. Everyone was fair game, and all he wanted was for it to end.

“I’m going to join the Survey Corps” he announced as he turned back to the group, most of his squad mates staring at him in shock.

“What? You’re serious?” Sasha asked him and he nodded

“After everything I saw I Trost.. after what happened to Marco.. I can’t turn tail and hide. If we all did that then.. We will never be free.. and I want Marco’s life to mean something” Jean’s voice cracked as he clenched his fists. He could feel the eyes of the whole squadron on him.

Good, let them all see him. Let them all know.

“Marco didn’t deserve to die... he was.. better than all of us” he looked up, eyes roaming each face to look for guilt. To see the words sink in and for each person to react to the confirmed death of his best friend “As much as I want to run... to hide from the truth I... I don’t want those charred bones to be disappointed in me”

He could feel his tears gently falling as he turned back to the roaring fire.

“Goodbye Marco...” he gently tossed the bone fragments back into the pyre to rest “I hope... I make you proud. I’ll never forget you my friend... your life meant.. everything. I’ll do it all, for you”

Sasha and Connie joined his side, hands on his shoulder to comfort him, so sincere and sad with tears and sniffled words of kindness Jean couldn’t doubt them for a second.

He had been able to deliver his speech and he hadn’t even have to fake his pain. It had all been so much, the fear and the unknown. The pain and the devastation every single day that Marco slept on, the thought that even now.. he might never wake up. That had poured from him, his sadness and pain, his fear and his love.. all of it had come from him so naturally.

“I was with him when he left..” Jean said softly and he could see the way the squad moved closer to catch his words. His eyes lingered on Annie, she hadn’t reacted but... “So he wasn’t alone, he’s not hurting anymore... not like I am.. because nothing will ever fill the hole he’s left behind”

Krista was crying softly, Sasha too as she held on to Jean’s arm. Connie was sniffling and Armin was even welling up. No doubt the emotion they all felt was as real as Jean’s own, despite Armin knowing the truth he still couldn’t hold back his tears at what might have been, what could still happen.

“Then I’m joining too”

“Me too”

“Im coming with you”

After Erwin’s speech the majority of the cadets left, intent to join the Garrison or the select few to the MP’s.

But Jean, Armin, Mikasa, Krista, Ymir, Connie, Sasha, Berthold & Reiner stood in front of the fire, and pledged their hearts to humanity.

…..

“He better be here I swear to god” Jean marched down the corridor of the fort with a huffing Hanji in tow. He had finally made it to the Survey Corps fort with the other new recruits, he hadn’t seen Marco in so long now it was agonising but he had to be careful nobody else knew that Marco was alive. Finally Hanji had found an excuse to steal Jean away from the rest of the squadron to lead him down to Marco’s secret recovery room.

“Of course he is, I’ve been continuing his treatment. Look for yourself” Hanji seemed to finally reach the destination and swung a door open, gesturing dramatically inside “See there he is, all safe and sound! I told you I’d take good care of your man!”

Jean’s face cracked into a huge smile, complete relief and joy washing over him

“Oh… Hanji.. he looks.. healthy again..”

“Don’t want to keep saying I told you so” Hanji smirked “You asked the right people for help. Anyway, I’ll give you some time with him, I’ve already told the squadron that you and Armin are helping me out for a while so you’re covered”

“Thanks Hanji, I owe you”

“Ahhh don’t worry we will be getting our moneys worth out of you yet” Hanji winked before closing the door and leaving them in peace.

“Hey you” Jean fixed all his attention on Marco now, standing at his bedside “You look good”

The last time he had seen Marco he was pasty, feverish and covered in bandages, wounds open and bleeding. Now he looked serene, the bandages were gone and he could see the still red, but well healing cuts on his face and neck. His complexion was so much healthier now too, his freckles no longer standing starkly out against sickly pale skin but looking natural and cute once more.

_Marco was cute?_

He didn’t stop to linger on that thought, not when It was such a relief to see Marco looking so well after coming so close to dying. The wounds were well knitted over and on their way to scarring, no longer open and infected like the images that had haunted Jean’s memory. Maybe the marks would never disappear but they would fade just like this awful time in their lives. His hair was soft again, Jean noted as he stroked through it. Hanji and Moblit really had taken care of him and he felt that familiar pang in his chest.

“You look like yourself again” he said softly taking a seat next to his friend “You missed selection, it was hard to stand there without you but… I hope I did you proud. Maybe we won’t get to live that dream in the MP’s together but… I like to think that you’ll understand why I’ve made this choice. Still.. as long as you’re safe inside Sina, I can live with that”

Marco’s hand felt so warm and natural in his now, the thought as he stroked careful fingers along his palm. When did he get so used to holding Marco’s hand? He supposed near death experiences made the urge for contact that much stronger. To feel them physically under your fingertips was like proof they were still alive, keeping you grounded because the whole time you were touching them they couldn’t disappear.

“Still, I’m going to miss you, not seeing you everyday has been so tough and… knowing I’ll be away from you in different factions, that’s tough but its the right thing you know?”

Marco didn’t reply, he was still sleeping on but Jean didn’t mind. Talking to Marco helped to make sense of the feelings in his head, it made him feel normal. Being able to talk to him as though things were normal.

“You mean so much to me, I hope you know that. I never realised just how much.. but fuck.. Marco without you I feel like I’m loosing my mind! I sleep in your nightshirt you know?” He chuckled to himself “Maybe that’s weird but.. it helps, it makes me miss you less for a while. You’re all I think about all, I just spend my days waiting to get back to you, worrying about you. Hoping that today is the day you wake up so that I can hear your voice again, see your eyes.. your smile..” He swallowed deeply, fingers locking tightly with Marco’s own as he weighed up his next words.

“Marco I know you’re my best friend but… I think I might be in love with you.”

…..

It had been a few days since they arrived, every day Hanji found excuses for Jean to visit Marco and every day his heart seemed to swell even further. He regaled him with tales of the squads exploits, told him all about his training. How his horse Buchwald was finally taking to him and the idiotic antics of Connie and Sasha. Whatever happened he would tell Marco so he wouldn’t feel left out… unless it involved Reiner or Berthold, you know.. just in case they had been involved. He didn’t want Marco to be scared and stay asleep for longer.

_Anything to keep him safe._

Then afterwards when he had to leave he would say goodbye, kiss his forehead and promise to be back tomorrow. Then he would do any nightly duties before slipping into Marco’s shirt and falling asleep.

_He had something he so desperately wanted to tell me,_ Jean though to himself on this particular night as he stared at the ceiling. I wonder… Was it possible that Marco… _had feelings for him too that he had wanted to confess before he died?_

Not long ago this thought would have scared him witless, he couldn’t say that it still wasn’t confusing and a little scary for him. A month ago even he thought he was completely straight, he had a crush on girl for goodness sake. But since that day… he couldn’t think about anybody the way that he thought about Marco. He wanted to hold his hand always, be close to him, bury his face into his neck, tell him how much he loved and needed him. That thought jolted him from his trance and his hand came to his mouth in surprise.

_I love him… I want to be with him._

That night he dreamed of soft brown eyes and freckles, of laying under covers with arms wrapped around one another and soft kisses exchanged in the safety of the darkness.

….

The next day he took his usual vigil at Marco’s bedside. But this time was different, this time Jean was acutely aware for the first time of how he felt. That he was in love with this person lying in front of him.

“Hey Marco, not much has happened since yesterday. It’s been a dull day but I did get to yell at Eren so… not a total waste of a day” he laughed softly to himself “It’s still tough, I just miss you.. but I’ll be at your side for as long as it takes I promise. I’ll never leave you, not ever.” he gently stroked dark bangs from Marco’s forehead, his hair was getting so long now but it was cute, it suited him “Well not unless you want me to, but definitely not until I see you smile. That’s my caveat you know? When you’re awake and I see you smile again then…”

Jean’s trail of thought cut off abruptly, gasping at the sudden realisation ofexactly what he was looking at.

Brown eyes were looking back at him, open and wide and full of astonishment.

“Marco!” Jean yelped jumping to his feet and leaning in as though he was sure his eyes had been mistaken “Marco you’re awake?!”

“J-Jean” Marco’s voice was raspy from underuse but he still sounded so happy, and that was so god damn Marco wasn’t it?”

“Marco…” He was crying, again. Damn did he ever stop crying lately? “Fuck!!”

He was clutching Marco’s hand like a lifeline, his other hand stroking his cheek in disbelief as his focused on his eyes. The way they stared back at him, lids blinking and showing him it was real. Marco was finally, really awake.

“P-please don’t.. c-cry” He smiled at Jean so sweetly it was his undoing

“Marco... I...” he couldn’t contain himself when Marco was looking at him like that. Smiling at him, that fucking smile he had missed so much. The one that always made the world seem like a brighter place “Fuck I missed you so much! Goddamn it I… I’m so happy you’re back! I.. I’m lost without you Marco.. I can’t believe you’re finally here… back to me..”

Marco’s hand pressed to Jean’s cheek and Jean never wanted him to take it away. His touch was so soft and warm, assuring and… loving.

“Y-you’re warm” Marco smiled, eyelids fluttering “I m-missed you t-too Jean”

Thats when Jean threw his arms around him and Marco hugged him back as he sobbed his heart out, holding him so close because he would be dammed if he was letting go of him anytime soon.

  
Thats where Hanji and Moblit found them an hour later, hugging and crying as they held each other tight.

…..

“How long have I been asleep?” Marco asked curiously, after Hanji and Moblit had found them, soon Erwin, Levi, Mikasa, Eren and Armin had gathered in his room to fill Marco in on what he had missed.

“About a month, you got an infection and took a bad turn..”

“Oh.. I see.. I guess I was pretty lucky to recover huh?” Marco’s fingers trailed the scarring on his shoulder “I suppose I’m lucky to be alive.. after the Titan bit me.. I thought that was it... I still thought it was going to die after it dropped me.. I remember how much it hurt...”

“You’re going to be left with some scarring but your wounds healed well after we cleared the infection. Your ribs should be as good as new too! It’s just surface level damage I’m sorry I can’t do anything for that” Hanji looked apologetic.

“Please don’t apologise, I’m grateful for all of your efforts to help me” Marco smiled graciously “So many times on that day I felt like I was dying and yet I’m still here, that’s pretty amazing huh? I feel like.. I wasn’t allowed to go until I did something important..”

“You were right he really is earnest” Levi muttered

“That’s right! Jean... there’s something really urgent I have to tell you” Marco looked up suddenly as though struck by an epiphany “The message I tried to give you before I passed out! That’s what I needed to do!”

“It’s okay Marco” Jean’s stomach flipped and his heart sped up, really was Marco going to say it right here in front of everyone? “I think I.. figured out what you wanted to tell me”

“I should have known you would” Marco fixed him with that winning smile and he couldn’t help but melt “You’re really smart Jean”

“What is the message?” Levi interjected and Jean’s stomach dropped in horror, please don’t.. in front of everyone..

“Reiner, Berthold and Annie are traitors. They caused the attack on wall Maria and they tried to kill me when I found out”

The room was so silent you couldn’t have heard a feather hit the floor let alone a penny.

“Wh…what!”

“Well this lends credence to our original theory. We were correct in our deductions” Hanji looked delighted

“Indeed, now we just need to capture these traitors” Erwin pondered

“It won’t be easy, they must be Titan shifters just like Eren. When I first overheard them I thought it was some kind of cruel joke... but ... as I was flying away Reiner caught me and...” Marco looked down then, his face crumpling and eyes filling with tears.

“Marco?” Jean took his hand without even thinking about it “You don’t have to relive this yet.. you’ve only just woken up”

“No I have to.. tell you all what happened” Marco cleared his throat and spoke shakily although his fingers gripped Jean’s tightly for support “Reiner he.. knocked me down and restrained me. He told Annie to take off my gear”

Everyone in the room was watching Marco enraptured and horrified all at once as he told his story. He faltered in places, when the details and the memory were so painful it made him wince but Jean was there to hold his hand and reassure him as he relived the moment he attacked the Titan. The terrifying moments before his death where he fought back, the fall, the pain and how he dragged himself into the streets. Tears ran down Marco’s cheeks as he talked, crying with a kind of dignity that only Marco could possess. Jean sniffed and only realised then he had been crying too, Marco’s story tearing him apart inside. All he wanted to do was protect him, hold him and take away his pain, the betrayal.

Finally he finished, recalling his last conscious moments, being found by Connie, Jean rescuing him, reaching the hospital and then after that everything was just black.

Levi was stone faced as usual, Erwin looked horrified, Eren furious, Mikasa sad, Armin was crying, Hanji stroked Marco’s arm reassuringly, face full of care

“You did really good Marco, that must have been really hard to relive but your story will help us all”

“Thanks I...” Marco sniffed and wiped his eyes awkwardly “I shouldn’t be sad I mean.. I’m lucky to be alive. Thanks to you all helping me I..”

“Well actually we didn’t have that much to do with it” Levi interjected “Usually we only treat survey corps soldiers, in truth we didn’t have much interest in helping a soldier that wasn’t one of our own”

“Then.. how come you did?” Marco asked curiously and Jean would tell Levi to shut the fuck up if he had the courage. Let Marco believe their MP dream for just a little longer...

“Because Jean joined the Survey Corps in your stead. He pledged to our cause so we would treat you”

“J-Jean.. is that..” Marco’s eyes widened as he finally seemed to focus on Jean, and then his uniform. Mouth opening in shock as he registered the wings of freedom sewn onto the pocket of his jacket.

“It’s true” Jean nodded, staring down at the floor “The Garrison doctors said you weren’t going to make it.. they don’t have the supplies and.. the Survey Corps could help you but only if you were one of their own. So... I made a choice, and I don’t regret it”

“Jean... you threw away the top 10.. the future you dreamed of?”

“Its not thrown away, none of that is worth shit if you’re dead!”

“We... will give you some time to talk” Hanji stood up and motioned to the others they should leave.

“Thanks..”

“Right, we have to formulate a strategy. The enemy is closer than we realised so as of today you are officially Marco’s guard 24/7” Erwin addressed him

“Sir?”

“Marco stays in this room, you don’t leave, and nobody comes in if it isn’t one of us here right now. Understand?”

“Yes sir”

“Good. Our next mission will be of vast importance, crucial to our success. Keep Marco safe, when this is all over you’ll be able to reappear from the dead publicly. Until then this room is your home understood Bodt?”

“Yes Sir, thank you Sir”

“Good, officially Jean, you’re sick and contagious so you won’t be missed from duty. I’ll have someone bring you your things for you. Let’s go everyone”

Slowly they filed out of the room, locking the door behind them and finally leaving he and Marco completely alone and trapped together for the foreseeable future.

Not really a tragedy huh?

“You did this for me?” Marco asked and Jean nodded, sitting back down and locking eyes once more with his best friend.

“Yeah.. I.. was out of options. Either I signed you up to join them or... Someone else signed in your place”

“Why didn’t you just sign me up?” Marco asked curiously “You could have still joined the MP’s and gone to live behind the walls. Still had your dream?”

“Well like I said that dream means jack shit without you! I can’t go there and hide in the walls while you fight for your life? Wondering if you’re alive, If you’ll make it back home! These last weeks have been hell everyday wondering that exact same thing! I’m not doing that to you Marco! You’re... you’re the best person I’ve ever met! You’re.. good through and through! You even looked at my arrogant, asshole self and saw good in me! You made me believe I could be more than I am and you’ve been the best goddamn friend anyone could ever have! You fucking... people tried to kill you and you still tried to talk with them! You reasoned one of them out of killing you, if that’s not just...” he rubbed a hand exasperatedly through his hair and sighed deeply “If that doesn’t show what a god damn pure person you are I don’t know what does! The world needs more people like you.. I need you! So.. I made the choice I would regret the least. That’s all there is to it”

“The choice you regret the least..” Marco seemed to ponder his words for a moment before nodding “I suppose that’s all we can ever do. Then… I understand why you did it”

“Good… I.. Look I’m gonna be here and help keep you safe while you recover. You’re my best friend Marco I just.. I’m so glad to have you back”

“Im glad to be back.. there’s no one I would entrust more with my safety either Im… I’m glad you’re here”

“I’ll always be here… no matter where we are or if we are separated by walls.. It’s us against the world isn’t it?”

“It always will be”

……

“Good afternoon commander” Jean stood and saluted, Marco’s words joining his as he saluted Erwin from his bed.

“We have formulated a plan, an expedition beyond the walls where we will plan to capture and take Reiner and Berthold by surprise”

“Sir? Why do we have to leave the walls for that when they are in this very fort?” Jean asked curiously and Erwin nodded

“A fine point. However we believe that this expedition will give them change to plot, we think they will try to take Eren and therefore draw out Annie. If they are also shifters then we need the perfect opportunity to divide and conquer. I will brief you both on our plans presently, we will need your cooperation. After which Marco, you will be free to return to society and choose which military faction you wish to join”

“About that... I’ve already made up my mind Sir”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, I want to join the Scouts”

“What? Marco you.. can’t be serious!” Jean cried out “This was all.. to keep you safe? Why...?”

“Because, I used to avert my eyes from the reality of the Titans. Hiding in the walls was all I wanted, but now.. after seeing the reality of the world, after almost dying.. I can’t pretend I don’t see it. I wanted to devote my life to protecting the king well...” Marco chuckled “I’d say.. the king is pretty damn safe. It’s everyone else, the normal people that need protection so.. I’d rather give my heart to them, and do what I can to help humanity” he saluted Erwin firmly from his bed and the commander nodded with a smile.

“They were right about you, you have more heart than most... alright. Then on behalf of the Survey Corps we accept your pledge of your heart to our cause Marco Bodt. Welcome to the Scouts”

“Thank you sir!” Marco was beaming with pride but Jean was still flabbergasted, hoping this was all some bad dream.

“I’ll have your uniform brought to you shortly. Is your rehabilitation progressing?”

“Yes sir. Hanji is assisting me getting back to my feet, they are confident I will be up and about as usual within the week”

“Excellent, we will need you on form for this mission. Well then, continue your rest. I will brief you of our plans in due course”

“Yes sir!”

Erwin locked the door behind him and only then did Jean round on his friend

“Marco!! You’re so stupid why? Why did you do that?”

“Because I want to know what I almost died for! And hiding behind the walls.. being an MP! That dream isn’t.. it isn’t worth shit if you aren’t there with me!” Marco echoed Jean’s own words from before with a fire behind his eyes and Jean was rendered speechless.

_Did Marco.. mean it in the same way that Jean had meant it?_

“Marco... I.. don’t want you to get hurt.. not ever again”

“And I won’t. Not with you there with me. You’re my bodyguard remember?”

They were staring at each other now. Eyes unblinking and both filled with unspoken words. The air between them was charged with something that hadn’t been there before and it made Jean swallow thickly with nerves.

“Marco I..

“Jean..”

He sat down on the edge of Marco’s bed tentatively and this time it was Marco that reached out for his hand, linking their fingers together firmly. For a while they just sat there, hand in hand. Marco’s face was so vulnerable, so open and Jean wanted to comfort him. Moving closer they sat together against the pillows shoulder to shoulder. Hands linked and Jean’s heart beating a dime a dozen.

“I don’t want you to follow me because of the choice I made” Jean whispered

“I’m not, I’m following you because it’s what I want to do”

“You’re so noble Marco” Jean sighed “for once I just wish you would be selfish and just look out for yourself”

“Looking out for myself is joining the Scouts and being with you”

“How is that helping you?”

“Because.. we’re meant to go together aren’t we?” Marco’s cheeks tuned pink “It’s us against the world isn’t it?”

“Y..yeah. We..” Jean cleared his throat loudly “I mean.. you’re right. It is, I.. you’re just best friend in the world”

Best friend.. it felt not enough to encompass what Marco meant to him, too small a phrase. Not enough to show his feelings, his heart. His _love_.

“And you’re the person I care about most” Marco phrased it so much better than he had, he squeezed Marcos hand gently within his own.

“Fuck.. Marco.. I.. I don’t want to fuck this up! I was so scared of loosing you and now... you’re here and I would do anything to keep that”

“You won’t mess up, I trust you. Remember I’ll always follow you, it’s because of you that I’m alive. Your judgments are right Jean, I believe in you so you should believe in yourself”

“Marco” Jean turned to face him sharply, his other hand coming to rest against Marco’s jaw, holding his lovely face softly the way he had dreamed of. Those big brown eyes started back full of wonder and anticipation and Jean decided to just tell him the truth “You’re.. you’re more than a best friend, fuck all I think about all day long is you, everything is you. Getting back to your side is.. what I’ve been living each day for! I slept in your goddamn shirt at night because it’s the only way I could fall asleep, by pretending you were there safely with me! You’re all of my thoughts my dreams.. my memories of training and everything that matters it’s all _you_. You’re it Marco... the thing that finally woke me up, that stopped me being selfish because suddenly there was somebody in the world that was more important to me than myself! You’re my best friend without a doubt, but I’m also pretty goddamn sure that I’m also completely in love with you”

Marco’s eyes widened, a sharp breath sucked between his lips as his lovely expressive face went through a plethora of emotions. It seemed liked forever before his lips parted and he spoke

“I’m.. I...”

“I don’t expect you to feel the same way” Jean cut him off quickly, trying to preserve some of his composure “I’m okay if you don’t, I’ll survive! As long as you’re alive I can cope with the rest but... that’s why. That’s why I did it, that’s the truth, okay?”

Marco was smiling, his lips curling and his eyes sparkled for the first time since he opened them

“Jean... I love you too”

And then Marco’s lips were on his and Jean’s mind was blank. _This was happening, Marco felt the same way?_

“I’m never going to leave your side” Jean whispered to him when they parted. Arms around each other as they held each other close “I want.. to be with you. You know? Like... properly”

“Me too” Marco smiled against his cheek kissing him gently

“So... uhm...” Jean floundered slightly scratching his cheek as he blushed “so... can I call you my... boyfriend or.. something?”

“Yes Jean” Marco laughed kissing his cheek again “I think that would be alright with me”

….

“It’s very boring being dead you know” Marco joked as he paced the room with careful steps in his rehabilitation exercises. He was much less shaky on his feet now and Jean was proud of him for pushing through the pain everyday. His legs had been weak with underuse but he was well on his way to regaining his strength.

“What, bored of my dazzling company?” Jean joked from the bed and Marco grinned at him

“Oh never! But I can’t say I don’t miss the outside, it would be nice to see the sky again, maybe look at stars with you. I’d like that”

“You’re such a romantic aren’t you?” Jean couldn’t help but smile as he crossed the room to wrap arms around Marco’s waist from behind, resting his chin on his boyfriends shoulder.

“Hmmm maybe” Marco laughed softly “I guess I just want to make the most of everything. Im lucky to be here still and.. I don’t want to waste any time with you”

“Luck had nothing to do with it” Jean replied gruffly, nuzzling against his cheek and placing a kiss there “You’re strong so you survived. This is all you”

“And a little big of Hanji’s medicine right?” Marco teased

“Okay maybe Hanji gets a little credit but… The rest is on you”

“Heh, maybe… Still. I can’t help but be excited to see what’s out there, to find the truth. We’re going to help make this world a better place and I’ll get to see so much I never thought I would”

“Did I ever tell you that you’re too goddamn good?”

“A few times, maybe”

Marco laughed happily and Jean as pretty sure there wasn’t any better sound in the entire world.

…..

“How are you faring?” Erwin asked and this time Marco stood in front of him on his own two feet, saluting the commanders arrival along with the other officers.

“Much better Sir, I feel back to normal almost”

“See I told you he was worth it” Hanji clapped their hands gleefully “Marco has been the most wonderful patient and he’s helped me learn so much about the..”

“Can it Hanji” Levi drawled “We have other matters to discuss”

“Excellent” Erwin nodded “Then I would like you to attend our strategy meeting tomorrow night, you will both play a role in this crucial mission. In attendance will be only those that know of your survival, you will be my key players”

  
“Yes Sir”

“Now that you’re a functioning Scout, it’s time for you to look the part” Hanji excitedly bounded forwards placing a neatly laundered and folded pile of uniform into Marco’s arms “Wear this tomorrow for your first official day!”

“Thank you” Marco beamed “It’s an honour”

“Christ” Levi muttered rolling his eyes

“Well that will be all, rest up. I’ll send word tomorrow for the meeting and Jean can escort you”

“Yes Sir, thank you Sir”

When they were finally alone Marco set the clothes down, fingers tracing the blue wing on his new jacket.

“A Scout… I still can’t believe it but.. I’m happy Jean. I feel like I can actually make a real difference here”

“Im glad case its too late for regrets now.. And for what its worth you do make a difference.. all the time. Everyone really misses you… Krista and Sasha couldn’t stop crying when… Anyway I just mean… everyones world will be a better place when you’re back in it okay?”

“Everyone missed me that much?”

“Yeah, but not as much as I did okay?”

Marco giggled cutely and turned to him, hugging him close

“I know Jean. I know”

…..

Marco’s wounds were in that pink state of scarring now, they didn’t hurt him anymore thank goodness and soon they would fade. Still he noticed the way Marco’s hair had grown and how he parted it, bangs falling down over the scars on his forehead.

“Your hairs gotten long, want me to trim it?” He offered but Marco just shook his head

“No thanks, I kind of like it”

Jean pursed his lips in response, watching Marco take off his sleep t-shirt and pick up his new white shirt, ready to don his new uniform for the first time. The curves of the scarring on his back standing out against his skin, and for the millionth time Jean had the horrifying visual of those immense teeth sinking into Marco’s flesh.. _and tearing him apart._

He had been so close… and Jean didn’t want him to be ashamed of those scars, they didn’t make him any less beautiful, they made him exceptional.

Marco’s hands deftly clasped his harness together at his chest and began to wind the straps around his thighs.

“It’s been a while since I put this on, I forgot how annoying it was to fasten”

Jean just watched him transfixed, how he had progressed from an invalid in his hospital bed back to a soldier, no… he was more than that now, much more.

Finally he turned and picked up his jacket, holding it in his hands with a smile before drawing it up over his shoulders and donning his wings of freedom for the first time.

“How do I look?” Marco asked slightly shyly, rubbing his nose.

“You look gorgeous”

“Really?” Marco’s fingers brushed against the scar on his jaw and Jean moved closer, taking his hand away and lightly kissing where his fingers had been.

“Yes, you don’t have to hide Marco..” Softly he brushed his bangs aside from the scar on his forehead and Marco winced slightly “Dont be ashamed.. of these.. of anything. You’re beautiful, you always will be”

Marco was blushing, his eyes full of love and emotion and Jean had never wanted to kiss him more.

The tender moment between them could only be ruined by the appearance of Eren Jaeger, so naturally that was the moment Eren unlocked the door and barged in.

“Oi It’s meeting time Horseface. Hey Marco, how are you doing?”

….

“Marco!” Armin jumped up as soon as they were safely inside the command room and rushed to hug him “It’s so good to have you back!”

“It’s great to see you too Armin, I’m glad you’re alright” Marco beamed at everyone greeting them with enthusiasm. Jean was proud to see this hair still pushed aside like it used to be, not hiding the scarring.

“We’re pleased to accept Marco into our ranks” Erwin started “As you all know keeping his survival a secret has been of paramount importance. Our enemies do not expect us to possess the knowledge that we do, therefore we have formulated a plan. Our priority was reaching the basement at Eren Jaeger’s house in Shingashina. Therefore our official mission outside the walls will be to forge a pathway to Shiganshina”

“However this mission is to serve a greater purpose” Levi indicated to the painstakingly planned formation map laid out on the table “Everyone will be assigned to a sector, our aim is to change our course to avoid as much Titan interaction as possible. Eren will be our bait, if they come after him because of his shifting power we need to be able to intercept them”

“Thats why we devised this divide and conquer tactic” Hanji highlighted 3 sectors on the map “Mikasa’s segment on the right flank is to keep watch over Berthold, Armin’s on the left is to monitor Reiner. We divide the formation here, leading to two separate choke points in the woods. That’s where we apprehend them”

“We anticipate Annie will appear, after Eren, he will be protected by the Levi squad in the centre. When we reach this point in the woods” Levi highlighted a section of woodland “We will be prepared, Erwin, myself, Hanji and others will lead the charge to prepare the traps. Our mission is to lure all three traitors to these choke points and apprehend them. With Titan shifters likely we need to be prepared for a fight, we cannot let this opportunity slide”

“Jean and Marco, you will need to keep yourselves hidden. Nobody must see your faces. You will ride ahead of Levi squad to the choke point, conceal yourselves up high. When the time is right you’ll join the fight”

“Sir? Im confused about my relevance to this plan, I’m not sure how I’ll specifically be useful to you” Marco asked with confusion and Levi smirked

“Because.. Annie couldn’t bring herself to kill you. Her humanity, however much of it is left, seems strong enough that she couldn’t hurt you. She hesitated and so… can you imagine her reaction to you reappearing from the dead mid battle?”

“I understand Sir”

“Our missions are to apprehend the traitors, capture them and bring them back alive, do you understand?”

“Yes sir!”

….

It was the night before the mission and Marco was restless with nervous excitement.

“I can’t believe its happening tomorrow, if it all goes well..” Marco was pacing the room in his sleep shirt and shorts instead of coming to bed and Jean was getting impatient.

“It will, everything will go to plan. Come to bed already”

“Im just nervous, I hope they are right… that I can be helpful..”

“Marco come on already!” Jean grumbled and Marco chuckled

“Needy?”

“Yes! Now come hug me already”

“Well when you put it like that” Marco slid into the bed next to him and Jean immediately wrapped around him snuggling him close “Are you nervous?”

“A little, it’s the first time outside of the walls and there’s a lot riding on it. But that’s not what I’m thinking about right now”

“What are you thinking about?” Marco was stroking his hair and Jean snuggled into the touch like a content cat.

“You, obviously. How much I want to kiss you”

“Oh, well I have no objections to that”

Marco kissed him, his touch soft and sweet as they lay there tangled up together in a mess of entwined arms and legs. Who knew that just laying together could be so fulfilling, just holding someone close could make you feel complete. They fit together so well, despite having complete polar opposite personalities, they belonged together.

Jean kissed him over and over again, relishing the feeling of him. Holding that perfect face in his hands and feeling Marco kiss him back. It was better than any of his dreams and more perfect than his imagination. Just being here with him, them together and happy.

“I dreamed about this..” Jean admitted to him when they finally parted and Marco’s smile warmed his heart

“I still sometimes have to pinch myself you know” Marco whispered “That you feel that way about me”

“You shouldn’t you idiot, it’s obvious I’m crazy about you”

“I know, you’re a terrible liar Jean I would have seen through you”

“Hey! Shut up”

Marco was laughing and it was so damn cute, here right now, happy with their arms around each other was everything he could ever have wanted.

“I love you Marco”

“I love you too”

….

Jean adjusted his hood, making sure his face was hidden as he readied Buchwald. Soon the gate would open and their mission would begin. He was nervous, he would be crazy if he weren’t, but he had a fire inside him. This mission was going to be a success, for justice, for humanity.

Besides he had a special role in this mission after all, he had precious cargo to protect. He smiled to himself as the gate slowly raised and Erwin’s voice rang out marking the start of the Scouts 57th mission outside the wall.

“Scouts! Onwards!”

And with that they raced out into Titan territory, following into the formation Erwin and Levi had painstakingly strategised. Jean and his charge raced up into the centre formation, they were tasked slightly ahead of Eren’s segment. That way if they were needed they wouldn’t be too far ahead, but for now their task was to keep their pace and stay unknown. A trump card to throw off the enemy if necessary.

Suddenly Jean couldn’t ever imagine a life where he had joined the MP’s instead, The purpose in his heart, The galloping of hooves underfoot, the wind blowing through his hair, it made him feel alive.

He glanced right, smile subconsciously furling his lips at the sight of dark brown eyes furrowed in concentration as they raced ahead. The scar on his forehead was exposed as the breeze blew back his bangs,joining the ones on his jaw and neck. Skin flushed with the winds bite making his freckles more pronounced.

Marco had never looked more beautiful. He was a true soldier, a survivor, he was brave. And fierce and strong and _aliv_ e.

The wings of freedom looked natural billowing from his shoulders, it fit him so much more than the MP’s unicorn ever would. Because Marco was _extraordinary_.

Pushing Buchwald on to draw level with Marco’s horse, he grinned over to him and Marco smiled that winning smile back at him.

“Not far to go! Then we finish this”

“Armin’s segment has Reiner, Mikasa’s has Berthold. No smoke so far so the diverging tactics must be working”

“This better work, I’m fed up of being dead”

Jean laughed “Means I’ll finally have to share you with everyone again, that sucks I enjoyed being your protector”

“Who said you have to stop?” Marco laughed back “In all the ways that counts. You’ll never share me with anybody”

“Damn right! I’ll always be your bodyguard! Now put your damn hood back up! We’re screwed if anyone see’s you’re back from the dead too soon”

“Yes sir” Marco grinned but obeyed, pulling the green capes hood up to cover himself.

The two charged together neck and neck, it’s how they were supposed to be wasn’t it? You couldn’t have Jean without Marco or vice versa. It was them against the world and Jean wouldn’t change that for anything.

….

They reached the choke point in the woods without ordeal and quickly dismounted flying up into the trees and unsheathing swords.

“You ready for this?” Jean called over to Marco who stood opposite him, resting on a tree branch, the black smoke back in the direction that had travelled leaving them in no doubt that the plan was working.

“I am, everyone will converge here soon”

“Shall I fire the signal”

“Can I do it?” Marco asked earnestly and Jean nodded

“Go ahead”

  
He reached for the flare gun, loading the purple ammo and firing it up with a crack. Unknown to the rest of the survey corps, the signal for emergency drawing all nearby soldiers to the ambush.

Jean’s hands locked tight around the hilts of his swords, now was crunch time. This had to work.

On cue Squad Levi approached galloping fast as an abnormal came into view, fast chasing after them.

“Its her… isn’t it” Marco’s voice wavered and Jean gritted his teeth

“We will soon find out”

As the rumbling of hooves and pounding of Titan’s feet fast approached, they readied themselves. For a moment the earth shook and then team Levi took to the trees, beginning their assault to strip Annie from the titan.

It was hard to watch, but they waited just as they were instructed until Levi’s voice bellowed “NOW!”

Like a well oiled machine Jean and Marco dropped from their perch assailing the abnormal Titan’s arms and slicing up the flesh as the Titan screamed.

Jean leapt from its shoulder gliding back into the trees and watched as the Titansuined hand came up to swipe at a static Marco.

He stood atop its other shoulder, hood fallen down and hair blowing as he stared up at the shifter.

“Hello Annie”

The Titan’s eyes were wide at the sight, shocked into stillness. Hand sagging back down to its side as it stared spellbound at Marco.

“I know you didn’t want this, any of it. You tried to save me. Please.. just stop this”

She was frozen in place, unable to move, shocked in a stupor. So much so she couldn’t have reacted to the whirling of Levis blades as he sliced her nape apart.

…..

Petrified crystal wasn’t want they were planning on returning home with but..

“It’s fitting in a way” Marco said softly as they finished securing Annie into the wagon “She never wanted to hurt me, she tried to stop them. I’m glad she didn’t get hurt here... strange as that sounds. I guess this is justice in it’s own way, and that’s good enough for me”

Was it just Jean’s imagination or.. were those tears on Annie’s cheeks?

“You’re too good you know… and I love you for it” Jean said softly and Marco turned to him, smile on his lips and blush on his cheeks. No matter how many times Jean told him he still flustered, it was so cute. It was so _Marco_.

“I love you too Jean”

Hands interlocked as they stood together, watching the wagon start to roll away back towards the walls. From the smoke signals fired off it seemed all 3 Titan traitors were captured and suddenly the tides had turned dramatically in their favour.

“Levi was right.. he told me to choose the decision I would regret the least. And I could never regret joining the Survey Corps, never regret this... this moment right here. I made the right choice”

“I can’t bring myself to regret what happened to me either. If I had never landed on that rooftop... we would never have known. What might have happened then?”

“It doesn’t bare thinking about. But you’re here, and you helped save us all. But probably... most of all me”

It’s wasn’t exactly the most appropriate time but that wouldn’t stop them from winding arms around each other and kissing each other soft and loving for a moment. Taking a moment just for each other, for the victory, _for their future._

“Come on. We don’t want to get left behind” Jean reluctantly pulled away “Lets go home”

With smiles they mounted their horses and joined the party, setting off and riding home together with their comrades this time. No longer a secret, Marco rode with his hood down, hair blowing in the breeze and smile so vibrant it made Jean’s heart flutter.

“WOO WOO!!! MARCO’S BACK” Sasha howled into the air whooping and hollering as the rest of the 104th joined in cheering and revelling in their friend coming back from the dead.

The whole ride home was a pure celebration with Marco centre stage and Jean wouldn’t want it any other way.

…..

The gates opened up once more in front of them and for the first time in a very long time, the Survey Corps returned home as heroes. They rode through, heads held high and Jean couldn’t help but smile. The applause and cheering spread like wildfire. Minimal casualties. Titans captured and the future of humanity’s freedom looking stronger than ever. And yet.. the fanfare paled in comparison to the sight of Marco smiling, rubbing his nose as he blushed slightly. Back from the dead and returning home a hero.

It’s everything he deserved, this brave, strong and resilient boy had seen hell and kept his humanity, his sweetness. He was still so kind and good despite it all, and Jean loved him with everything he had.

The party that night in their honour was the best yet. There was even Meat! Sasha hoovered up as much as humanly possible while crying with happiness. Marco was fussed over by everyone, so happy to see him back and well. Krista had sobbed her heart out as she clung to Marco who had comforted her with his soft words and kindness. Even Ymir didn’t descend in her usual swarm of protectiveness and when Jean ad looked over at her, she simply smirked back

“I know I have nothing to worry about with Marco don’t worry, your boyfriend isn’t exactly going to try and steal my Krista”

_Boyfriend_

Jean smiled softly, a faint blush etching across his face. This time… he liked how that sounded.

Marco was so beloved by everyone, but… Nobody more than Jean.

….

“Hey” Jean whispered against Marco’s skin later that night as they lay there together in bed “I love you so much, none of this would have been worth anything without you”

“I love you too” Marco whispered back, Jean’s hand pulled gently to his mouth as he kissed it gently “I always knew you would make a great leader”

“It’s only like you said.. because I’m so weak. Because I was scared.. I was able to make the right decision”

“That’s what makes you so great. And I’ll follow your orders to the end of the earth”

“Kind of hard to do that when I’m already following you” Jean joked. His other hand brushing gentle fingers against one of the curved scars on Marco’s bare waist

“They are ugly huh? Do they bother you?” Marco said it softly but Jean could tell there was a hint of fear in them, of rejection.

“They aren’t ugly at all, they make you look badass” he joked “Did you hear that kid today who said you looked super cool and he bet you killed so many Titans?”

Marco chuckled “Cool huh? That’s a new one for me”

“I think you’re cool, and you’re beautiful Marco.. no scars will change that. You’re perfect. I love you so fucking much I can’t even... I don’t know how to even say it. I just do I fucking love you!”

“Well I think you’re pretty cool too” Marco smiled, blush highlighting his freckles “Thank you… for never giving up on me, staying with me and still making me feel like nothing has changed”

“Nothing has changed you idiot” Jean growled playfully “You’re just as amazing as you always were just now.. you look a bit more badass than me”

Marco giggled cutely and snuggled into Jean’s neck

“I love you, you dork”

“Enough with the insults and kiss me already” Jean grinned and Marco complied with a smile, leaning up and kissing him softly. Jean would never get over how it felt to lay here with him, to hold him and feel him against him, to kiss him like this. Marco was his home and he finally knew what love was supposed to be.

“I’ll love you forever Marco”

“That’s a big promise”

“You kept your promise to me” Jean traced the contour of his face reverently with careful fingertips “And now I’ll keep mine to you, I’ll always be by your side Marco. Its the only place I wanna be, until the day you don’t want me there anymore”

“Well then” Marco smiled, nuzzling his nose against Jean’s sweetly

“Forever it is”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me to finish this! 
> 
> This has been a ride for me, my first foray into this ship and I enjoyed every minute of it! 
> 
> I wrote this as a gift for a beloved friend so I hope you liked this <3


End file.
